The truly unique, perfect, personalised gift.
Mandy.
The birthday girl, for why we’re here
Is celebrating another year
So, Mandy, here’s some memories
Of times you’ve spent at mine and Lee’s.
Best mates you said. But I was no fool
When Marcus took you to Blackpool
I knew right from the very start
That you had captured our son’s heart.
Two little puppies in a pen
We wondered – would you ever come again?
To you it was probably no big deal
But my chip omelette was a tasty meal!
Through thick and thin and rain and sun
You then became the special one
To Marcus, Jodie, Claire, Lee and me
And became a part of the family.
Stockings, suspenders and high heeled shoes
The most stylish barmaid serving booze
Dressed up as a saloon bar tart
You manage to look so chic and smart.
Menthol fags you’re always crashing
Unless you’re at the neighbours flashing
I bet his face was the brightest red
And now you’ve bought the bloody bed!
Keep Fit with Beryl was always tough
Until she played the song – ‘Hot Stuff’
Dancing away with wiggling busts
And your speciality – pelvis thrusts!
At parties when we’ve drunk a few
The microphone will pass to you
From ‘Titanic’ to Shania Twain
‘From This Moment On’ you’ve all to gain.
Now, Mandy, you’re caring, thoughtful and kind
With the confidence to speak your mind
Every activity you’re bound to enjoy
But you do hold a fetish for a singing toy.
From cuddly pigs to a singing fish
To own them all is your ongoing wish
Doulton Ladies – an expensive taste
But oh so beautiful – not a waste.
Thank goodness Sinclairs has shut its doors
Or Marcus would be working on all fours
To give you the style you deserve, our Mandy
Oh! And don’t forget the bottle of brandy!
Or sherry – you might take a glass or two
Until the bottle is empty through
Oh well, you’ve got to have a tipple
To give the smoothest wave a ripple.
But enough of that, let’s have a toast
To the girl for whom I am the host
Mandy – Happy Birthday to you!
From your closest friends and family too.
© Mel Luke 2008
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